where's the love in hate?
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"Not all sorts of people are hater, but all hater are sorts of people." Redeemson bryam
Yet, we hate war! we got to war because we love our country. Love and hate are related to each other in a complex manner. It is distinct rather they incompatible experience; they are similar in certain aspects and dissimilar in others. In light of the complex nature of love and hate, it is plausible that when people describe their relationship, they may be referring of each experience.
Yes! love and hate are similar in being directed toward another person because she or he is. In spite of this similarity, the two seem like opposites. Very often we love somsome or them, we want to thrive back. When we hate them we are more likely to wish they would suffer-or at least change who they are.
The attachments we built get divided into positive and negative relationships (love and hate) the 'we' and the 'them.' Interestingly, it's when we align ourselves with the 'we' and discover who the 'we' are that we indirectly create the 'them' to which we oppose. So, by creating the 'we' we are creating the 'them.' Creating the love ( of 'me' and thus 'we') creates the hate ( 'Them").
Therefore, hate and love are at seemingly polar opposite in literature and our common thinking on the subject, physiologically- speaking they are quite literally.
Sometimes, You describe your love relationship when the circumstances are such that the focus of attention change under different order;
hence the change in the emotional attitudes. When you give a focal point in the attention of your partner . You love him dearly. When you think the humiliation he brings upon you. So, you hate his guts. Thus people can say; 'I hate you, then I love you....then I hate you, then I love you more' (Celine Dion); "sometime I love you, sometimes I hate you. But when I hate you, its because I love you" ( Nat king cole). Such cares can be explained because emotional experience are dynamic and emotional attitude toward the same person.
If you one loves someone deeply and sometimes hate that person, the feeling of your love may still be dominant in the context of betrayed. However, if you do not love that person, hate will grow to be much stronger than the feeling of love by you. Additionally, stronger feeling of love were associated with hate after the relationship was broken, thus suggesting a link between romantic and hate.
The experimental work of 'The deeper the love, The deeper the hate' also found significant associations between romantic love and hate in the context of romantic love and hate in the context of a romantic relationship. When presented with negative events with three different target persons, participates and most hated the person whom they had love the most previously. Therefore, love and hate are indeed related. As Alfrod (2015) proposed, hate is an imitation of love and also a types of relationship with other and oneself. That is, in managing their relationship with others, people are at same time managing themselves and their psyches ( Alfrod 2015). In the context of an individual's love and hate when the relationship one had developed with a particular partner was destroyed, romantic love consequently turned into hate. Especially from the perspectives of young couple in romantic relationships, hate is also reflection of love.
The terms can be explained as there is several possible in a certain idea. Its possible that he loves you by 40 per cent and hate you by 60 per cent. His emotion changes based on the value on this scale. If he hate you, there is a chance, he also love you. Occasionally, he has encountered in this situation when he not like you when he met for the first time. But he certainly felt a connection. Based on further interaction, the values change and he starts liking you. These opposite emotions are found in every human. You have no emotional connection what-so-ever and you possibly painful when you want another person to love or even hate you.
Romantic hate may be rooted in romantic jealousy previous research proposed emotional jealousy and cognitive jealousy relates to the individual's negative attitude to lover ( Yoshimura,2004). Therefore, they speculate that is a lover's betrayed that causes anger and other negative emotions, resulting in hate. Moreover, cognitive jealousy indirectly related to relationship dissatisfaction between the lover (Elphinston et al.,2013).
They also found a positive relationship between romantic love and jealousy in their previous studies. This is, the more one loves a person, the more sensitive one becomes when encountering threats to a relationship ( Mathes and Sevara, Orosz et al.,2015). Thus, individuals experience more love and more hatred toward the same lover.
The observation phenomenon By Wang Jin, Yanhui Xiang and Molei it also attributed to the perception of equity imbalance. The researchers have proposed the concept of " perception of equality" based on equality theory and state that equality can be achieved by changing one perception of investment in the relationship or its results ( Walster et al.,1973).
Accordingly, from equality theory, equality is calculated from both the individuals inputs and outcomes, the perception of equality is lost, thus resulting in a change of perception between hate and love. Both are the quite reflection of each other so it can be said on based of the concept of when there is love, hate always run after love. Otherwise hate always overcome love in romantic relationship after the breakup.
Reference:
- Gao, G. (2001). " Intimacy, passion and commitment in Chinese and U.S American romantic relationships" International Journal of Intercultural Relations (250(3), 329-42.
- Psychology Today. Relationships, Love Intimacy (article)
- Psychology Today. The Psychology of hate, posted mar 09. 2017, why do we hate?
- Its a thin line between love and hate, Why we hate the people we love. By Berit Brogaard D.M Sci. Ph.D. The mysteries of love. Posted Mar 27, 2018.
- Science, How do you define hate? Alia Hoyt (article)
- https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.01940
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